It is less than a month before I'm leaving. I dont know what others (my friends) are feeling, but for me, I feel this great anxiety going inside. Along with, it might sounds too much, several regrets.

I am absolutely going to suffer a home sickness for I dont know. Even for people who claim that they prefer to be alone, the presence of family would make you feel more secure. The longest time I ever separated from my family was when I went to New York for three weeks. But would it be the same for two years? Wondering how it would be like, I started to recall things..

My first trip without my parents was a two days study trip to Kampung Naga. My Mom waved her hand as the bus left the school. I secretly cried on the bus.

When my parents went for Haji, I was at school, I didnt take them to the airport. When I got home, I cried finding a piece of paper on my table with message from them.

During my Dad's 44th birthday, I cried because we could not celebrate it together since he was in Europe for work for about two weeks.

But this time, It would be my turn and not be just two weeks.
It's not two weeks. It's two years.
It's not the place you could go home whenever your want.
It's not just another city like Bandung when you just need to call the travel and go home for at least once a month.
Or Jogja that you often visit and no longer felt odd and can be reached by train or 1 hour flight.
It's a different place. Different city, Different country. Different continent. *exaggerating*
It's far.

Did I mention something about regret earlier?

Now as time moves faster than usual (?), you always tries to make the best of everything you do here, each time you spend with people you love and you know that you would miss them so much than anybody else.

You remember how much times were wasted while you were here.
I wish we spent every weekend together.
I wish we could sit together in the living room laughing on variety shows or watching discovery channel or simply share what we've been through that day.
I wish I woke up earlier so I could see their face, having quick breakfast together while watching morning news.
I wish I was not being too thoughtless and only thought about myself feeling comfortable staying in the room playing laptop.
I wish I was well-aware that this time would come that I would not wasting my time before.

But well, what's done is done. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time but what? If it is that easy turning back time wouldn't we, selfish people, would never learn?

I seriously think this post does sound too much. I mean like...please -_-, it's not like I'll be leaving forever when it's just two years and I'll be back, du-uh!